And here it is, again. The time of the afternoon when my nerves reach their lowest potential point of the day. The strong urge to scratch at my arms and legs until I feel the burn of layers peeling away grips at me. Concentration is not an option; however, I am able to write. It's probably about the only thing that keeps me sane in the afternoon. Yet, even this fails to occupy my mind appropriately enough to calm me.
I'm completely distracted by thoughts of my upcoming wedding, my fiance's bitter mood today, possibilities of new jobs and careers, and even trying to find blogs worth my time (which is just about any, really, because mostly I just want a distraction from this reality I'm stuck in right now).
My fiance, B, is supposed to drive a Nascar with Richard Petty driving school while we're in Las Vegas. That means this chick needs to get friendly with life and disability insurance information. AND get us signed up before we leave for Vegas on August 2. I'm sure it's possible, but with my easily distracted mind, I can rarely follow options and what's what. Not helping in the matter is the fact that we're incredibly poor right now! I know life insurance isn't really expensive (at least not for reasonable plans). Of course, I need to get in the know about health insurance, too. That's pretty important, and it seems neither of us will be getting that cushy state job with insurance any time soon. But it seems pretty darn impossible to understand all the different options for health insurance. Next Tuesday I have two therapy appointments (with the therapist and the psychiatrist), so I may be able to squeeze in a meeting with an insurance agent while I'm out of work.
Still looking for that on/off switch in my brain.